Why I Left a Life of Live Music
All my life I’ve been a music lover. I learned how to play the piano at 4, picked up the saxophone in 5th grade, and taught myself guitar and bass in high school. I’ve played in too many bands to remember, seen hundreds and hundreds of concerts, and have been lucky enough to meet and even befriend my favorite musicians.
One year in high school I went to a music festival, stood atop a hill overlooking the main stage, and told myself that I wanted to do this. I wanted to bring people music. I wanted to provide people with something that would bring them joy - an escape from the daily routine.
I started organizing shows in high school, and by the time I got to college I was managing bands and running a music marketing company. I did what I wanted to do, worked with the bands I loved, and worked on events that brought joy to tens of thousands of people.
The beginning was great. I was wet behind the ears and soaking it all up, but the longer I was on “the other side of the fence” the more and more I became detached from the music itself. Everything was business oriented. Concerts were no longer a place to engage with the music - instead they became a giant networking party where more time was spent drinking and swapping business cards backstage than actually listening to what was important.
I’m not quite sure what is was, but one day it all just clicked. Perhaps it was a slow and steady buildup, or something gradually surfacing from my subconscious, but I finally realized that I no longer liked what I was doing. I was there for all the wrong reasons and I became jealous of my past self who could go to a concert and simply enjoy the music being made onstage. That’s what music is - it’s simple and it’s pleasurable.
My love for live music is not fully rekindled, but it’s definitely getting there. I feel like I’ve ended a dysfunctional relationship, but I’m grateful for it. I’ve learned that for certain things in life it’s more enjoyable to soak it up as a spectator than stare jadedly from the background.
